Dear Families,
‘Parenting is Tough’ (continued) – Ideas for Parents
In the last edition of the Parent Newsletter I shared thoughts from families and parenting author Dr Justin Coulson, and his views about parenting being a tough game. I also concluded the piece stating that I would share ideas that may help you through tough, exhausting, and stressful times. Please read on if interested.
Tool #1: Accept Emotions
Just like waves on the shore, our emotions come in and go out, ebb and flow. Most emotions don’t last more than a few moments. Occasionally they’ll last a few days, but that’s unusual. When you feel a big emotion, remind yourself that “this is what I’m feeling right now”, and be accepting of it. You’ll see it disappear faster than if you try to wrestle it, fight it, and subdue it. Emotions don’t vanish by being banished.
Tool #2: Create Psychological Distance
Notice that when you’re in the thick of things, it’s hard to see a way out. It’s in these moments that you call a friend and ask for their perspective. They have distance while you’re stuck in the middle of it all. When our emotions are high, our intelligence is low. The aim is to level out emotion and keep our thinking clear.
Tool #3: Choose Growth and Contribution, not Happiness
Reframing the tough times from problems and pain to opportunities for us to develop character and make a difference helps us see those tough times through a new lens. Those times stop crushing us, and instead give us raised vision, aspiration, and desire to be better people – for ourselves and for our children.
Tool #4: Focus on Progress
When you’re ready to crack, or perhaps when you’re ready to shrug your shoulders and walk away, pause, and ask the question, “What are my actions moving me closer to?” Are you progressing towards your goal/dream of having a family who loves being together, and who thrives and supports one another when times are tough? Or are you moving closer to an alternative (and less appealing reality)? As you see progress, you’ll feel motivated to keep going. Progress feels good.
Tool #5: Reframe your Expectations
Knowing there is always too much to do can be a burden or a blessing. Instead of being weighed down by the thought, be intentional about what you choose to do. That can be freeing. Choose with intention. You can’t do it all.
Tool #6: Control the Controllables
Control what you can control. You can’t answer all of your child’s questions. You can’t pay cash for their education, the car, the house, the holiday, and the dental work! You can’t stop the war, slow the cost of living, prevent the rain (or the drought), change the government, or heal the planet. This might sound depressing – but it’s not (when you remember tool #5). Instead, look at what you can do. You can hug your child. You can listen with mindful focus. You can organise a meal. You can read a story or play a game of cards with your child. Control what you can control. Put your attention there and your energy will follow.
Tool #7: Avoid Screen Burnout
Screens are often non-productive, passivity that add to our stress by working as a procrastination tool. When it comes to screens, be mindful; use them meaningfully; and be moderate in screen use.
Tool #8: Lighten up
Sometimes we take everything very seriously. It’s good to joke, be light, and let go of things now and then. Humour helps us navigate stress and challenge in healthy ways.
Tool #9: Build Relationships
The heart of wellbeing, happiness, and love all come back to one thing – relationships. Build connection by being present. When our relationships are deeply connected, they are alive – and so are we.
Tool #10: Take a Break
Breathe. Let things go. Find something you really enjoy doing. Exercise; get out in nature; have a coffee with a friend. Do what you can to have a small amount of bliss.
Sports Day – Tomorrow, Friday 18 November at Payneham Oval
Sports Day is being held tomorrow at Payneham Oval. I remind you to take note of the following:
- Students to arrive at school, as per usual.
- Students will walk to Payneham Oval, with their class group (staggered departures from school).
- Sports Day will commence at 9:45am.
- Sports Day will conclude at approx. 2:00pm.
- Students can be dismissed from Payneham Oval by parents/caregivers (ensure this has been indicated in the form circulated this week).
- All other students will walk back to school with their class, arriving at approx. 2:30pm.
- Dismissal for the students at school will be the usual 3:00pm.
- A sausage sizzle (pre-ordered via QKR – now closed) will be available, as well as drinks and coffee.
- There will be free fruit available for all children; kindly donated by Tony and Mark’s.
- Students are to wear a coloured t-shirt that reflects their House colour.
- Students are to wear their school hat and apply sun cream.
- Families are encouraged to bring own chairs for the day (if wishing to sit).
- Parking is recommended in neighbouring streets.
I am looking forward to seeing you there.
New Staff joining St Joseph’s Payneham in 2023
Next year, we have four new teachers joining St Joseph’s Payneham. I welcome Brontè Platt, Charlelie Kalz, Dominic Calabria and Shana Phillips. All currently work in South Australian Catholic schools.
Parents and Friends (P&F) News
Your support of the various P&F fundraiser events that have occurred this year has been appreciated. Of late, thank you for supporting the Cadbury chocolates fundraiser. We made a profit of $6,384. This is a tremendous effort! I’d like to acknowledge the work of parent and P&F member Kayla Holding, who dedicated many hours of her time to make this fundraiser happen. As mentioned in a recent Parent Newsletter, the funds from the P&F that have been raised this year will go towards the following items: educational games for each class; a new oven for the school canteen; portable speakers for the Preschool; two tents with SJP logo; an outdoor PA system; coloured sporting flags with new SJP logo; and protective pads for the school’s football posts.
Children’s University
Last night at Bonython Hall, located on the University of Adelaide grounds, some of our students were recognised for their efforts in completing extra-curricular hours, contributing to their Children’s University award. A big congratulations to Violet Carbone, Oliver Doyle, Julian Luppino, Robert Collins, George Collins, Eliza Collins, Sebastian Martino, Oliva Nero, Shazad Patel and Jayvin Purba on this achievement.
I would also like to acknowledge staff member Josie Colangelo, who worked behind the scenes, in liaising with children, families and the Children’s University. If your child would like to participate in the Children’s University program for 2023, please do speak with Josie – jcolangelo@stjopayn.catholic.edu.au
End of Year Concert, Wednesday 30 November
The End of Year Concert is being held on Wednesday 30 November, commencing at 6:15pm on the school grounds. This is for all Preschool to Year 6 children and families. There will be food and drink available on the evening.
Condolences
I extend my sympathies to:
- the Priarollo family (Jacob, 3MM) on the passing of his paternal grandfather.
Congratulations
I share with you the following ‘good news’ and offer my best wishes to:
- the Matsumura family (Leon, RN) on the recent birth of a baby girl.
Wishing you well!
Simon Mechis
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